STAYING IN YOUR OWN LANE

VOL.24

A REMINDER TO REMAIN PRESENT

Some of you may have noticed that the pace surrounding the offerings I deliver here has slowed a little bit in the last few weeks. The reason being that I’ve caught the bug that my children picked up at school and it happened that first, it was covid and then it was bronchitis… and I’ve really stretched myself with having to care for three sick kids, my husband (who can take care of himself but who was also working in halves since we were both navigating from survival mode), and a sick dog too. As I said in previous musings, it is in these moments that I am forced to slow down and since I’ve had the idea of Projection following me around for a while, I found myself reflecting on the path toward getting to where I am and then where I also want to be (because you all know I am nowhere close to done! I have bigger dreams for a big life).

When I first started this business I began smoothly, without any pressure but the spark of an idea fuelling the things that I wanted to share. It was the middle of 2019 heavily pregnant with my youngest daughter not knowing what was about to come in early 2020. I created a few ritual kits (definitely not what they are today), and began to host new moon rituals once again but for the first time online, when the pandemic happened, leading me to seeking connection through the powers of technology. It was here that I found myself signing up to things in order to connect with people in the only way we could. Although it was a time filled with unknowns, there was something a little bit exciting about connecting with people from all around the globe as it made our world seem a little less small (living in Australia sometimes makes me feel a little bit irrelevant considering the traction that I see people in America getting for doing the same things). In doing so, I discovered so many people using their platforms to educate, which, if you’ve been following me for a while, is a huge passion of mine – I seek knowledge and am always prepared to refine my own skills in the areas that inspire me. I noticed that some of the things they were sharing were things that I had known and learned and understood and that I could in fact also teach again in a new way. Starting this new venture was not new to me as I had already lived several lives before this one having owned several businesses and done various different things. Even still, whenever you begin something new there is always that momentum that comes from not knowing where you are going but excited to see where the journey takes you. I also had no real idea how I would be found in an online space when everything I had done prior was from a brick and mortar, physical venue. Something I honestly still have issues with is how to be found and how to expand when there is so much saturation from the mainly American celebrity market.

But soon enough, new baby in tow, things began to change. I began to see more success but my success didn’t sky rocket in the same way as that of my peers. As a mother of three young children, there is already a point of disadvantage, mainly because we don’t have help and we do everything just the two of us (my husband and I). I value my time alone but between my three young children and a business, which is essentially like having another child, it is easy to feel like you are always operating from empty. And for me, it’s easy to get hunkered into a specific set of routines because I have to cater to their needs in addition to my own. For me, it’s almost like there are never enough hours in the day and I am often completing an intense 40 hour work week in just several hours because that is all I have left after everyone is taken care of.

It can be easy to get caught up in the day to day responsibilities and in the end they become these daily distractions because everyday I am forced to commit to different tasks that I don’t necessarily want to do. It often feels like there’s so much to get through that it becomes difficult to know what to do first and the least important things, like content creation (because it isn’t necessary for survival) gets put on the back burner. The irony is that people are always, and I mean always asking me for advice about how I manage to do it all and I am not sure why I get asked this because the truth is, I often don’t. I cringe admitting this to all of you, but I have been that mother that forgets about the school project due, that forgets the public holidays and left in the moment to adapt and try to figure out how to manage it all. I slip up in every facet, on so many occasions, but because I am so passionate about what I do and I need it for my own mental health I sacrifice fun, adventure and all those delicious treats of life just to get the basics down. I know I can’t run like this forever but I am not in a place where I can hire a whole team to support me, not yet but I am working towards that bit by bit.

As a business owner and a mother, there are so many things that need to be done, that need to be thought of in order to set the pace and put them in motion. I consider myself a creator and my life feels like it tends to plateau when I am not creating. As a sole business owner, I have to be healthy to run my business, to produce, to keep up. If I am not in top shape, my business tends to suffer the consequences. But then, if I don’t pay attention to my kids, their needs will not be met either.

Things along my journey continued to feel more difficult since my mind was always in overdrive, receiving orders, packaging them, trying to keep up with the schedule I set out for creating content, but then I also began to feel the pressure of remaining relevant. It seemed that I was already behind trying to catch up, and noticed that a lot of what I was doing was overshadowed by celebrity culture. It seems that every week there is a celebrity that comes out with a product or book intended to capitalise on the wellness industry. We are saturated with their image when oftentimes, they might not really know what they are talking about but have the funds to pay people that do and formulate a game plan that sells. And I find it ironic that this is my life! I live and breathe the things that I do. I’ve done countless studies that I’ve paid money for to get the knowledge that I have to serve you in the way that I do and on the worst days, it can feel like a punch in the gut to see someone capitalise on that. I often think of how much easier it is for someone to do something like this when they have extra help in this domain, when it doesn’t fall completely on one person’s shoulders.

An example of this irony is Kate Moss’ recent venture into the beauty space with her brand Cosmoss. When she was interviewed by Net-a-Porter about her line, she had recommended a series of products among them was one of my Ritual Kits that Net-A-Porter stocks. She did this for free, with no endorsement from myself or Net-a-Porter and I am grateful for the gesture since this type of thing is usually monetised in the marketing space. However, I do feel like a lot of celebrity culture is replicating things that are already out there and that is what really makes you feel irrelevant.

In the age of social media, there is a toxic side to relevance but we do live in a world where we do feel like we want an intense desire to forge connections. If you think of celebrity culture, the reason they are put on a pedestal of sorts is because on some level we feel like we can connect with them or have what they have because they are letting us in on their little secrets. We are living life through the lens they are willing to show us and therefore that makes our days feel more fancy, so to speak. We all look at things and admire the way they are portrayed and being shown. This is a form of connection since they are showing us something that we also like, that resonates with us. As a brand, it is impossible to create a good income from your business without being seen. Therefore, there is always going to be a question of remaining relevant. Relevant especially to the market that you are trying to cater to: i.e. women aged 18-65, interested in beauty, intention, ritual, etc. All of this is always in play in the way that our society is currently structured and to a certain extent we have to play into that. And it can feel so daunting as a business owner to even fathom thinking strategically like this when you’re just struggling to pack orders up and to write a handwritten thank you note with each one. Coming up with new products and trying to execute them, whilst also remembering to do your accounts and all those little things I really can't stand makes it all feel rather daunting and I’ve often asked myself if it was really worth it.

In these moments where things just become too much to handle, I tend to romanticise my time in France. Thinking that things will be better once I get there, that the view, more picturesque, would ensure that my brand and aesthetic translates to more sales, more subscribers, more engagement. It’s silly, I know, but I find that although the internet enables us to connect from millions of miles away, it feels like this current market favours the States or celebrity culture. Both of which I am clearly not.

I have always harbored grand aspirations and an eagerness to venture beyond my current business endeavors. The scope of my dreams encompasses a magazine, a course, and a secret collection I have meticulously crafted but have yet to unveil due to financial constraints. Amidst the ceaseless whirlwind of activities—packing orders, creating content, devising campaigns, attending to family needs, and caring for our beloved sausage dog—these tasks often distract from the overarching goal. Juggling multiple responsibilities simultaneously can be overwhelming, particularly on the most trying days when the value of my efforts and the desire to persevere may waver. Despite my deep passion for what I do, financial sustenance remains essential for its continuation and progression.

What further exacerbates my concerns is the perception that some individuals still fail to grasp the essence of my offerings. Each day, I receive numerous emails from people expressing their admiration for my work and their yearning to be part of a community or learn from the rituals I create. Their messages come from all corners of the globe, yet it bewilders me that the existence and purpose of Behind the Veil and the intention behind it seem to elude many. I find myself pondering whether anyone truly reads my emails, engages with my posts, or visits my website.

At the end of the day, when you create something from your heart, you want people to be a part of it and you want to be paid for the time that you put into something and all the years of education. And it often feels like celebrity culture completely floods it out. This includes the virality of things, the speed at which they are created, the growth that capitalist mentality demands because what you have is never enough.

This is the raw reality of starting your own business from scratch. While it may seem amazing to have the resources to hire a team and set up an extravagant workspace right from the beginning, the cost can be astronomical. You would need a substantial amount of capital, at least 100k, just to get started without any certainty of success. I couldn't justify hiring a whole team amidst such uncertainty, as it's crucial to ensure that these talented individuals are well-compensated and valued for their contributions. In my experience, when you prioritise the well-being of your team, they are motivated to deliver exceptional results, feeling a sense of value and belonging to something greater.

I found myself contemplating how to achieve the level of visibility I desired without resorting to being overly sales-focused or preachy. I am immensely grateful for the unwavering support of those who have stood by me throughout the years, eager to learn from my offerings. However, I realised that relying solely on their purchases to sustain the entire business was not a viable solution. It became evident that my vision needed to extend beyond their contributions, expanding and scaling to reach the heights I aspired to.

Wherever you go, there you are. Embrace the present moment, for it holds the power to shape your future. Find inner stillness, connect with your true self, and navigate life with purpose and intention.

It’s always easier said than done, but in these moments, you have to stay in your own lane. It’s so easy to spiral out of control: to think that things would be better this way or that. We often get ahead of ourselves, but I am always reminded of the quote: “wherever you go, there you are”. When the mind is so easily taken by distraction and comparison, it is so important to stay in the present moment, to allow oneself the patience and compassion to move forward from wherever you are. That is the only way forward. This is where my practices and personal tools come in to support me. It may feel like a waste of time but allowing yourself moments of stillness to connect back to yourself, is important. The Morning and Evening Ritual that I shared on this platform is an example of that. Without them, it is much easier to lose my way. But with them, I am enabled and reminded to return to the present moment, to navigate life to my own rhythm. It was what led me to create Behind the Veil: a platform that fosters these connections, that lights me up completely, that allows me to share things with all of you in my own time. And my practices ensure that I keep showing up for myself and subsequently, all of you. Because the truth of the matter is that none of this would be possible without my 100% and your beautiful support.

I am excited to see this space expand, and I do have so many plans for it and no matter what it looks like and the sticky moments in between, I am truly grateful that I get to do what I do. There is so much possibility and this piece allowed me to remember that. As always, thank you for being here.

Amoureuse,

Brooke