PROMPTS FOR CHANGE

Vol. 17

REBUILDING FROM SOLID FOUNDATIONS

I really do not mean to begin this musing harping on about my injury and stuff, but it has created a significant shift in my life. It has forced me to pivot and change my ways significantly for the time being because even doing basic things is challenging. As a result, there is a lot of time where I am sitting around with myself, supervising my preschooler but mostly sitting around with myself and my thoughts. This situation has made it perhaps the most perfect time to finally dive into all the books I have wanted to read, but I am mostly too tired because I am not sleeping through the night due to the incredible discomfort I feel from pain. I don't take pain relief, instead, I use various forms of homoeopathy and whole plants, such as herbal teas and have to steer clear from opiates and pain medication because I only have one kidney and so I am trying to avoid making things worse for myself and my body.

As I mentioned last week, these limitations mean that I am confronted with all aspects of myself, my life, and my surroundings. And as I have been observing, thinking, contemplating, and evaluating, I have been thinking a lot about change, newness, and freshness. I have been looking at things in my life differently, from what I want to work on and how I operate to what I desire. Even now, I recognise all the things that I could do, realising what I am reduced to doing because of this injury and realising how much I could have done but didn't before because of time, finances, or lack of resources or any other variation of an excuse. For instance, I have more than enough time to journal, but I cannot because I am right-handed. And while I have tried to learn to write with my left, it is frustrating because it looks worse than my three-year-old's. So, I am limited to doing a lot of voice memos or typing on my phone with one finger and, as you can imagine, looking like an 80-year-old using some new tech.

With all this extra time and as a result of all these hours of reflection, I have been engaged with making lists and gradually adding to them the things in my life that I would like to change for no other reason than that I am just sick of it. If any of you have seen my recent Instagram Live, you will have noticed that I have changed my hair. In my solitary moments of reflection, I recently realised that I have been hiding behind my hair. In fact, I have had the same hairstyle for the last seven years, and I am noticing now how much I had been hiding behind this long dark hair and fringe because I didn't want to be seen. And at my core, I don't really understand why I didn't want to be seen because there is a massive part of me that genuinely wants just that, that wants people to notice what I am doing and, in doing so, can reach more people to help more people in that exact moment.

This idea of hiding myself got me thinking about how much time I spend on creating this musing for you. What people don't see is the hours and hours that go into creating a newsletter, and in my business, it passes through three people's hands, each getting paid, to do a specific aspect of it. So, every newsletter that I send and every email that I send costs money. From this thread, I was reminded about old-school ways of communication in the form of courtesy and gratitude and acknowledgement. I see every newsletter in my inbox, and I look at them differently because I know how much money, time and thought has gone into it. I take time to hit reply and say, "Oh, thanks for that playlist share. I am loving it", or "Your new collection looks so dreamy." If I have subscribed to something, I take the time to reply: acknowledging what they've said, showing gratitude for the time and effort they have put in to create it and recognise the words and content they share. Even if it is just taking the time to reply that I appreciate their recommendation or a new campaign, it doesn't matter if they don't reply because I feel like it is more to do with courtesy: we often forget that there are people behind the brands, behind the products, behind the emails. With everything being automated for ease and efficiency, we need to remember that there is a human being that has to put it all together to get the final product to where it is.

The way these Behind the Veil Musings are created begins with me recording myself speaking (like an audio journal entry). Then Alessia takes my recording and transcribes it, making edits and moving around content so my lengthy ranting (often interrupted by a barking Mini Dachshund or a three-year-old wanting her fourth breakfast for the morning) Alessia makes sure it is cohesive. It then comes back to me to add bits and pieces where I may need to add more clarification or to remove and refine bits that are not relevant anymore or that I want to say slightly differently until it is finally uploaded into Wix to be scheduled for you all. So, with the back and forth, the whole process takes about a week, notwithstanding all the hours and resources we put in. And that's not including my graphic designer, Tori, who creates some of the beautiful templates and helps bring my visions to life so beautifully. So, there is a lot of effort that goes into stuff. Even my Instagram posts aren't just completely random. I actually think about the image and how it will relate to what I want to say or vice versa. If I have chosen the image first, I begin to think of something to say that relates to the imagery in the picture, of what that image conjures within me and how I can add a verse or my own thoughts to this image to have a more lasting and profound meaning. Then, I ask myself what do I want to have permanently on my feed, out there in a world of forever. And I know that 99.99% of people don't give a shit and probably don't even see it because I don't pay into these algorithms (who possibly can while sustaining any real life) and all this crazy ridiculousness that I have to do with my life, but it feels right to me. It is my art in this world and one way I can put it out there.

And to put things into perspective, most of the people that I follow don't even show up in my feeds. A lot of it is usually weird meme accounts and sponsored content about things that don't interest me —the AI seems to think I am a retired eccentric toff, but it's pretty comedic. So instead, I go onto someone's profile that I follow and spend about 10-15 minutes or even half an hour liking or commenting on images, watching their reels and educational videos that I like or their resources and creations. Even if my comment reveals the feelings of happiness or peace that their photograph or video evoked is enough – they have made my day, my hour or my weekend more beautiful and positively impacted me, and I acknowledge their efforts. I recently did this to one photographer I follow, and I can say that she was very thankful for my taking the time to message her. She revealed that she does what she does and shares what she shares not to be celebrated but just as a creative outlet from which she can feel inspired and more at peace within herself and heal through her state of mind. With this little interaction, I assisted that woman in knowing that her form of self-care to heal her depression and complexities helped another to see beauty in the unexpected and to instil gratitude through places that very few even notice.

This is the way I go about social media. I mentioned in a previous musing that I follow and unfollow, and play with my feed depending on what delights my senses. It's a different way of structuring and taking back control of a platform based on viral videos, likes, and external validation. Currently, my feed is filled with pastry chefs creating art, chefs, fine dining restaurants showing me delicious and decadent treats, interior architects, interior designers, country manors, florists and flower farmers… And there are a few designers in there, too, because if Schiaparelli is going to put some jewellery out, I am going to imagine that I can adorn my tits with their fabulous nipple jewellery. After all, you must have a bit of a flare there! This is how I treat social media and will continue to treat it until it no longer exists.

As a creative, taking the time to acknowledge and take the time to comment on someone's creations, photographs, and their words spins the wheel of balance and abundance for all those involved. There are some days I wonder if anyone is even reading these musings, and while I realise that we all lead busy lives, it's important to remember why we're here, why we followed someone in the first place, why we have chosen to subscribe to their platforms or take part in their course or immersion or why we choose to admire their photographs. Although I may not know how or what connected us, we are learning and growing together. And this happens because you saw a little spark in me or I saw a little spark in you, and it's important to keep these sparks burning, to keep the flame alive if we are still ignited and moved by each other's work, art or creations. Because it is really a fantastic feeling to be inspired and to inspire. Inspiration is something that brings us together and reminds me of what I would like to explore further in my own life, in my own time and in my own way.

Because it is really a fantastic feeling to be inspired and to inspire. Inspiration is something that brings us together and reminds me of what I would like to explore further in my own life, in my own time and in my own way.

Having this time to pause, reflect and subsequently be inspired prompts the things I want to forge in my life. My past is gone, and I am left only with the present and what is coming next for the future. Growing out my fringe and changing my hair is just the beginning. I notice that there is more to me, and this was a small step in noticing how I was playing small. And for those of you wondering what my natural hair colour is, it's actually a honey blonde, so this return to my roots (pun intended) means that things are changing, and everything must change in consequence. I ordered some new sunnies from Reie (this Australian brand) just the other day that are so different to what I would typically get in that they are a light caramel colour with a see-through lens. And I have been investing in gorgeous vintage Ferragamo silk scarfs, searching, and bidding on eBay. These changes are all happening in stages, building upon one another, building upon an initial realisation. I am re-evaluating myself and my life and where I stand regarding what I desire and what I have not permitted myself. And this all becomes more pronounced and louder as I sit still, injured and unable to do the things I had previously taken for granted. I keep having the same things happen in my business and my life, and I am moving through those things, and it's important to consider what I am shifting in myself — all change begins from the inside out. And the truth is that I wasn't really doing much with myself and I am sure many of you can relate. If you look closely and critically at your lives, do some of you feel the same way in certain aspects? Boredom, maybe? Wanting change?

Since a lot of myself is changing, something else I want to do is implement the things I desire to do more with my daily life, as in actually writing them down and doing them. One example is I would really love to make my own clothes again. This was something that I used to do when I was a teenager with my nan, who was a seamstress and an English teacher. I would point to something I wanted in a magazine, and we would choose the fabrics, and she would try to create it. Unfortunately, I could never learn too much from her seamstress abilities because she was feisty and would get impatient with me, but this was how I initially got into fashion because it was with her that I learned how to design clothes. In the time I spent with her, admiring clothes and bringing my favourite piece to life, I learned to make very basic things look good and make things from limited resources. And although a part of me feels removed from this passion, it is something I would like to rekindle. It reminds me of those early days of lockdown when I would make dolls for my children and craft with them. Making things for them from my hands that they can cherish and keep for years to come is something else that I want to do more in my days.

I am wanting to do more with my hands. Aside from crafting, it would be nice to indulge in the art of bonsai or within a building structure or design structure; to put together tablescapes and décor for a beautiful dinner party. And in the same way, I want to indulge my senses: to attend live performances of music, art, dance, ballet, and theatre. I would love equally to rekindle my love for antiques like my grandmother, Fay, who always had a home filled with antiques and collections of beautiful family heirlooms that were hundreds of years old, she had such a deep appreciation for them. I truly love these things for their story and the sentimental value that they hold. It tells me a story of the life of the person who owned it before me, and there is something beautiful and romantic in that. I am a true romantic and can romanticise anything.

I would love to learn more about flowers, growing flowers and knowing the proper temperatures in which they thrive. And in many ways, I'd love to do more things with flowers from an artistic point of view. I would love to speak French fluently and I would like to speak more Italian, and I want to study landscape architecture. I deeply desire to throw more dinner parties and lavish lunches and have people come together over food, conversation, laughter, and dressing up to create a memory, nothing more. These are some things I want to do more of, not just in this life but what I want to start doing now.

This is what happens when you are stripped back to who you are or what you tried to hide behind. We have to dismantle it all and fuck off the ego before we can rebuild ourselves in a way that feels honest and authentic to who this new you is. And it's not something that we touch base on a lot. And so, I want to take the opportunity to ask you: what is it that you love, or what are you drawn to in this present moment in your life? What things spark your eye and your interest? And how can you do more of that or be more of that if you are fascinated by a particular type of person? Is there something that you can't get enough of? What are the things you are drawn to now, and how can you apply them more in your day-to-day life to have this fulfilment, joy, and happiness?

This is how we build Honour. And this was the premise from which I created The Honoured Ritual Kit for Marie Kondo of Konmari. I wrote a bit about the birth story of this Kit on Instagram a few days ago if you'd like to explore that. But the brief when creating this Kit was about joy and happiness – those are her keywords. And within this Kit is in fact a full ritual that I would give to a client in my one|one sessions as a form of therapy. So contrary to what everyone else is doing, my Kits are not just a curation of random products but a compilation of tools and accessories that help enhance the written ritual and the experience from creating a safe space to explore yourself.

Sharing my most recent testimonial is quite relevant to this musing, and perhaps her letter subconsciously prompted the thoughts that I have shared thus far. This woman recently wrote to me and generously wanted to share her experience with The Honoured Ritual Kit. She is an older woman who has silently been practising witchcraft for 40+ years. Before stumbling onto my website, she had been trying to move through some things from her childhood to no real avail. And it was with the prompts and guidance of this Ritual Kit that she was able to overcome and release the pains of her past. In this message, she had taken the time to write and send photos of herself and of her ritual experience, and it was just the most adorable – I was bawling my eyes out the whole time reading it. In her testimony, she explained how much she admired that the process was not about me or about how I was facilitating the experience, rather it was about prompting her to be guided back into herself, her feelings and her experience through these exercises that I had written for that specific ritual and how that transmuted everything. I really needed to receive this when I got it last week because sometimes, I wonder how people receive what I do and what their experiences are. I often wonder if people get what I am doing or understand what it is that I am about. Not in an am I good enough way, but if the lessons, teachings, and awarenesses I share help anyone.

I received this letter and gift at a time when I was at the bottom, questioning everything and realising that, to a certain extent, I needed to update myself. And it always happens like this: it is in these moments that we are prompted toward change and act on it when we change the frequency and the direction and the course of everything. And so, I prompt you again to the questions I asked earlier in this piece: what are the things that you want to do more of in your life? Forget about putting money to it. Forget about putting socioeconomic value to it: ask yourself what you want to do more of. Let them be wild and free and uninhibited. And from these honest answers, see how your days and weeks need to be planned out and how your weekends need to look so you get to where you want to be. And in the same vein, consider how you might do things differently.

Dare to change the game and even set a new precedent for your industry. This is your invitation to give yourself that which you desire more of because you deserve it. And it's the perfect time to do it. As we close another Moon cycle next week, let's consider what hasn't been working and brainstorm how to make it work and the steps we might take to get there.

Amoureuse,

Brooke x